Five Fears

We all have something we're afraid of. People can literally be afraid of anything (for example: omphalophobia is the fear of belly buttons). And we all know it's not nice to make fun of someone's fear. (Even though we all do.)

I was given a writing prompt for today's blog post: to write about my five fears. I have to be honest here. While I do tend to worry and stress over a lot of things, I only have one major fear. So I decided to make a list ranging from a minor "Oh-I'm-startled" fear and increasing into "This-is-it-this-is-how-I-die" fear. And, since I like lists so much, they're presented below in that order.

#5: Spiders. While not exactly scared of them, I don't like them. They're ugly and sneaky and some of them can kill you. When I see one, I jump and do that girl squeal. If there is someone with me, I force them to kill it. I don't like them, but I don't want to be in the same general area as one. So, no . . . not really scared of spiders. Except for the one I saw IN my house the other day. That damn thing was the size of Aragog, and it went under my couch. I'll admit it. I screamed and refused to sit on the couch for a couple of days. This picture is an accurate description of how I felt about that particular spider.

#4: Backing out a car. Yes, it's stupid. Look, I know my faults. I can admit that I'm not the best of drivers. I speed. I rock out with too-loud music. I'm terrible with directions. I have a hard time backing out a car. I have no problem going forward. That's the easy part. But I can't see BEHIND me. I'm afraid that I'll hit a mailbox. Or run the car into a ditch, Or run over another car, like in the picture. I have a good friend who shall remain nameless (she's an author too) and we like to spend time at each other's house. I hate her driveway. It's narrow, on a hill, with deep ditches on each side, and on a fairly busy road. I'm only just now--after years of knowing her--backing out of her driveway. So far, so good.

#3: Funerals. I don't know anyone who enjoys funerals. Personally, I have nightmares after every funeral I attend. I'm not quite sure why. I know everyone dies, and we have to lay their bodies to rest. To me, there is little comfort in the gathering of friends and family to send a loved one on their final journey. I know it's tradition. I understand the need to seek a measure of peace by lowering a coffin into the ground (or scattering ashes) and having the rituals of your chosen faith, as well as family and friends, to lean on. And when my daddy died, I did receive some comfort and peace from that. But funerals still make me shaky. Maybe it's because they make me infinitely sad.

#2: A deputy I work with getting hurt. This is a big one for me. I've been a dispatcher for eleven years, and the thought of someone I work with getting hurt or killed terrifies me. Especially now. You never know if a traffic stop will turn deadly, or what they will walk into while responding to a call. Whenever someone radios for backup, my heart skips a beat. If they don't respond when I ask them something, my throat tightens up with anxiety. And when they finally answer me, the relief is overwhelming. I love my job. But I know that, if someone gets hurt, I could no longer dispatch.

#1: Clowns. Yes, I know it's totally stupid. I can't help it. I am absolutely mind-numbing terrified of clowns. They are evil beings that will suck your soul. I'm sure this fear stems from having watched IT when I was six years old (thanks, Mama). It's so bad that I can't go to the circus. I cringe when I see one on TV. And if I see one in person, I freeze. Just ask my friend, the same one with the scary driveway. We went to a haunted house. I wasn't expecting to turn the corner and step into the carnival from hell. The first thing I saw was a clown. I froze. My friend was behind me and almost knocked me down because I stopped so fast. She whispered, "Uh-oh" and had to practically piggy back me out of the room. Everyone who knows me knows about my phobia, and most of them make fun of me. I don't care, because I just can't.  I can't handle it. I can't shake the fear. I'm just going to live with it the rest of my life.

And that's my list. I know you're probably shaking your head and thinking, What's wrong with her? But like I said before, everyone is afraid of something. What are you afraid of?